How to Love Life

Part 1 of 3: Loving Life in the Moment

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   Let go of the outcome. One of the biggest changes to make is to let go of trying to control the outcome of every situation. Realize that the absolutely only thing you can control is your reaction to a situation, you rarely (if ever) can control the situation itself. The need for control is rooted in fear, and if you're acting from a place of fear, you are absolutely not loving life.^[1]

   • Ask yourself what you're afraid of if you relinquish the need to control the outcome of a given situation. As an example, if you feel your girlfriend forgetting the wine for a big evening is going to ruin the evening, question that assumption. Will it actually be ruined? It could be that your attitude will actually ruin the evening, rather than the lack of wine.
   • For example: if you're just embarking on a relationship (or just looking), it's fine to plan ahead for where you'd like to see the relationship go, as long as you remain open to the ways in which it won't be anything like how you planned.
   • Another example is if you have a health issue (of any kind). Instead of holding a constant anger about the situation, remember that you can't control the health issue (although you can do things to help or make it worse), you can only control how you act about the situation.
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   Be flexible. This doesn't mean that you can twist your body into a pretzel shape, this means that you are open to different possibilities. It ties in with letting go of the need to control the outcome, because if you aren't acting in a flexible manner towards life, you're going to come up against something that will break you.^[2]

   • Question your thoughts and words. Look at what you're thinking and saying (especially if it has to do with why you can't do something). You'll start to notice the places where you're most rigid in your thinking and your actions and you'll be able to work on softening those areas.
   • Change up your regular routine. They don't have to be big changes, but doing something a little different each day keeps you on your toes, even if it's something as simple as taking a different route to work each day, or stopping at a different coffee shop occasionally.
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   3
   Face your problems. Everyone has problems, big or small. Ignoring or avoiding them only makes them get bigger and bigger until they've taken over your life. You don't have to face them all at once, but dealing with things as they arise, rather than waiting, will help your long-term ability to love life, because problems won't be building up.

   • Focus on finding a solution to the problem, rather than focusing on the problem itself. For example, if you're having a problem with your roommate, instead of focusing the problem itself and building it up, focus on what both of you need to do to make the living situation work.
   • Ask yourself whether a problem is actually a problem. Sometimes you build something up into a problem without realizing why. For example: if making telephone calls makes you anxious, ask yourself why that is. Forcing yourself to come up with a reason for something that seems nonsensical can actually help you release the anxiety around what you feel is a problem.
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   Take a time-out. Sometimes the thing you need the most to get re-energized and life-loving is to take a break from everything. This means taking a little time to pamper yourself, or simply to give yourself some much needed rest.

   • Take a warm bath and put on an audiobook or music to listen to so your mind doesn't focus on all the things that might be worrying you.
   • Let yourself do nothing but day-dream for awhile. Maybe you take the bus to work or school everyday. Use this time to zone-out and catch up on imagination time, something that's important for your overall health and productivity.
   • Do something fun. This can be anything, big or small (anywhere from reading a book you love to going on vacation), as long as it is something that allows you to take a break from everything.